These are some weird doodles I've done in an A5 sketchbook of random thoughts, which is what I've been asked to do this week before starting a new project at uni called Edition. I need to start working larger again because that is where my skills lie, nothing I do on a small scale is every very successful. I have really enjoyed working with colour pencil however so I'll try and carry this on at A3 scale.
Because I lack any sort of maternal instinct or nurturing size I joke a lot that instead of ovaries I just have tiny stones, so I took a diagram of the female reproductive system from Gray's Anatomy (which my flatmate bought at the weekend, my new favourite book) and replaced the ovaries with tiny rocks. It's not very obviously ovaries, probably requires some labelling, anatomy style. I like that the colour pencil makes it quite morbidly jolly though, because apparently in some circles it's quite a dark joke to make that some one has rocks instead of reproductive organs.
I saw the film Whiplash on Sunday and it was so inspiring and terrifying to see some one be so passionate about being the best at something that they'll push themselves right to the edge physically and mentally. On the other hand it sort of made me anxious about the path I've chosen because I'm not pushing myself that hard and maybe I should be, although it is really unhealthy, the film doesn't exactly promote this mentality in any way.
When I do get anxious about things like not working hard enough this is a portrayal of how I feel in my head; like I'm winding round something continually and perpetually. Supposedly (according to me anyway) that grey smudge is me hanging on for dear life at the end of a rope wrapping round a wheel. I don't know if that's a normal thing to feel about anxiety but that's how I'd explain it.